Ain’t a nery one of yall getting my nervous system worked up like that again!
I read a quote a long time ago that said when the right person comes your way, there won’t be butterflies or nervousness. You’ll just feel calm. It took me a few rounds on the battlefields of love to get a fuller sense of that sentiment.
For a good period of time I thought, how could there be fun in that? Where is the thrill in calm? Especially when I love this, the lows are always offset by the highs! Fiery highs, who gives a fuck if it burns down everything in the process. Even the lows feel more like an underwater “how long can you hold your breath”, contest that I used to try and win against my childhood friends, even if it came with a dizzying headache afterward, you better believe ya girl was gone play. *heavy eye roll*
WHAT A RUSH!
Bless her heart. Bless it for all that it has been through. Thank the goddess for wisdom.
You know when they say you gotta chill around old people, cause they hearts can’t take shocks or surprises? lol. That’s the sentiment I have with my heart, why on earth would I want to put myself through that shock cycle of panic in the lows and relief/ mania in the highs?
Baby, that ain’t it.
ADDICTION.
I watched an interview with an early pioneer of female hiphop, Nieva. I don’t even wanna hold you, I don’t know her or her music well, but I did see her interview with Kandi about her drug addiction. The more she talked, the more reverberations of her sentiment felt like how I did with my ex.
(You can find her interview here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpGvoJ-1xkg)
And Goddess help you if it feels familiar, you too might be…
ADDICTED.
Coming off the drug, I have this rich appreciation for peace. For the dull boringness of activities that don’t through my nervous system into defense.
The best defense truly is offense, and baby you can’t take that from me, pussy ain’t the only thing tight right here.
And that’s on all the men that came before me.
